Lessons for college girls

First things first, you’re welcome for the screenshot of a literal photo, yes an actual physical photo of my high school graduation day, because it’s all I have. Spending the day at my alma mater The University of Northern Iowa brought back a flood of memories of my days in college. Several of those memories were ones not suited for sharing with Brig and Cal. Others, however, were reflective of the person I was during my time in Cedar Falls. Visually picturing myself walking on that same campus a few (several?) years ago had me wishing the woman I’ve grown into now could give college Katie some advice and comfort. College is such an odd time in life because you’ve just recently been ejected from the comfort of everything you’ve known since you were born. Yet, just a few days before you showed up at college, you were probably asking your parents permission to do nearly everything (externally anyhow) and without realizing it, for the most part, going about your days in a way they raised you to do. This has benefits but could also be holding you back a bit. If I could be standing on the UNI campus again circa August 2000, here’s some advice I’d give myself:

find your mindset

The intentional mindset is not something I’ve been good at until more recently in life. I’ve worked hard to read, research, learn and grow in this area because I now believe it’s one of the biggest advantages we can obtain in life. I (obviously) have a growth mindset. If zero days go by without me learning something, being uncomfortable about how much I’m growing, or pushing myself, then I’ve won. Now I wake up intentionally choosing how I’ll approach the day. College for a very long time (if not the whole time?) felt like survival mode. Constantly navigating so much, it ran me rather than me running it. Perhaps you want to wake up every day focused on kindness, being healthy, or joining me in an overall growth mindset. If you are intentional about deciding what your values will be and how your daily mindset will support you living by them you’ll leave accomplished and proud of how you showed up.

be different

We spent so much of our childhood trying to figure out how to fit in. Moving through each day with the end goal to be under the radar. I see this now with my eight-year-old Brig. Even though we talk often about being different and how that’s a solid plan, the very natural urge to want to just fit in sometimes prevails. You’ll read it everywhere, especially now much more than when I was in college, being different is cool. I’m however not talking about wearing a different trend or creating your own. I’m talking about the actual being different. If you feel differently about a topic that is being discussed, get comfortable (appropriately) saying so. You’ll start to find your feet in practicing this, and it will give you a solid ground for your future.

work less

I know, I said it, work less. 👏 All of my college careers involved working, a lot. Adding in studying and all around young humans navigating life management and it was a lot. Several semesters in college involved me working three jobs plus full-time school. I’d work a (very) early shift at the dining center, go to classes, rush to a mall job or nanny gig, then over the weekend also add in some shifts at a bar. I have vivid memories of missing fun outings and evenings because I’d be working. I’d have notecards for a test in my back pocket during a shift trying to manage it all. While I truly appreciate a good hustle, sometimes too much is just that. Find a way to spend less, or make more. Work smarter not harder. With today’s opportunities, this should be much more attainable. Get creative, and find a way to protect your time and peace. College is for learning, make sure some of that is learning how valuable your time is.

don’t wait

If your Instagram feed is anything like mine, you’ll have an occasional “don’t wait to do things” message on an inspirational post. Rather than just scrolling, take time to really lean into this one. College is a wildly free time. Even with the jobs, classes, tests, and keeping up with the FAC schedule, you’re still relatively free. You likely don’t have a spouse or children. While you might not be flush with cash, and on top of it, I just suggested you work less, now is the time to really go for it. I studied abroad in Tokyo and it’s still some of the most growing, learning, and wonderful moments of my life. Do that, but do it 10x. Try out for everything you’ve ever considered doing, and find a way to travel far beyond a Daytona Beach spring break. Walk up and start a conversation with someone who looks interesting. Want to run for office? Do it. You’re not too young, part of being young is growing and learning. How will you do that if you’re not doing something that scares you, and doing it often? Get up, and take the very first next small step into whatever popped into your head while reading this, hop to it and I’d love to hear what it is. Shoot me a message. Go you!

you are who you surround yourself with

Quite possibly the biggest life lesson I’ll ever learn, and if you take nothing else from anything I have ever or will ever say - hear me loud and clear. Take a moment to change your entire life here and now. Make a list of the qualities most important to you, your values, and who you want to be. Ensure each and every person around you raises those values up from you, and holds you to them. I now take note of the physical feeling I have when I’m around people I give the title “good friend” to. If I ever have an uneasy, uncomfortable, or relationship-questioning feeling around a close friend I take note and identify if it’s solvable through good communication or if I need to make a sometimes hard, but appropriate decision to keep my circle tight and filled with those who will help hold me to high standards. You’ll first need to identify what your personal values are. They likely won’t change a lot over life once you truly figure them out. However, once you also find these values in friends, they will become your true ride or dies, significantly more than the one friend who you always find yourself partying hard with and laughing (albeit still fun, this is not at all your person if that’s all they are offering you). You’ll be a wildly better human for being intentional and choosy about your friend circle.